Somehow it missed and I was only moderately harmed. Just enough to swell and hurt like hell. Then turn blue and hurt more like hell.
"Aw, c'mon Fairy, it sort of hurts you know ?"
"I wouldn't."
Never go against your Fairy's advice... Specifically if it involves a French public hospital located in the people's democratic respublic of France....
Drove to the nearest hospital. BIG, HUGE MISTAKE ! Think twice before entering a French emergency ward...Obviously they'll take care of business, overly friendly dynamic young staff. Quickly, efficiently, professionally.
Cleaning, X-rays, more cleaning, pain killers, pills, perfusion dip, supportive bandage, life is beautiful, stupendous nurses.
What about a coffee ? There's a vending machine nearby ? Wait hold about. No food without doctor's clearance. No Siree, coffee is food and this is not a joke.
Feel the tension rise ? Just wait, there's more where this came from.
Anyway, my coffee claim is pointless since I'm not allowed to stand up and walk to the coffee machine. Without doctor's clearance that is. And obviously this isn't a joke neither.
No candid camera team involved in the process ? Then how come they're so excellent at staging nonsensical situations ?
What about if I just stand and walk out ? After all I came by my own means and, last time I checked, the fingers of my hands are not concerned by my walking process.
Nope. Nada. No chance. Hold short. No motion until doctor's clearance. Can't leave. It's their liability. No kidding.
Yes, they will oppose resistance and even invoke urgent psychiatric protection measures if I just smile and walk away to the secretary's desk for the billing process.
Will they fight-back? No, well maybe, call the cops for sure.
Trouble. I'm detained in a French hospital emergency ward for a maimed finger.
Knock her down and out thru the window ? Ground floor, should be a piece of cake even with one finger out of commission... That chair will sure take care of the ordinary glass.
She attempts to explain.
A clot from my finger could swim in my vessels and engage their responsibility because I solicited their help and they obliged. Even if it happens outside, on the streets. Whatever.
Are they serious? See, I have a rental on a metered parking lot just outside and time is ticking. Then I need to go and do what I have to do.
No one cares.
Am I being detained against my will for an injured finger? Yes, until doctor's clearance. When will that happen? Well, they're all busy with serious cases, anywhere from now till tomorrow.
Hand in my pocket searching for the button. Three rapid clicks. Nothing. Three more clicks. Joy! A discrete short vibration.
Louder voice, the phone emergency SOS function will record 10 seconds of surrounding noise, fetch the position and dispatch all to the predefined contacts.
"Am I being detained at the ground floor of the emergency ward of the XXXX hospital against my will?""Yes, absolutely until doctors clearance, how many times will you ask ?"
"Sorry, won't bother you again."
Minutes seem weeks. What if? What if it didn't work? Loud ring tone.
My worried spouse. Yes, I'm in trouble, activate the consular protection exfiltration measures, I'm being kidnapped.A nurse interrupts my conversation, all phones must be switched-off in the ward as they could influence vital electronic equipment. Not good. Not good at all.
Longer minutes, 90 of them and counting.
A doctor shows. He's not in an easy mood.
Visibly upset, very upset indeed. Yes, I can go, even to hell if such is my will.
More urgent patients are waiting, he's totally unwilling to enter an international paper trail and deal consular matters with his bosses. Absolutely, they too are pissed by my irresponsible behavior.
Morality, never ever, and I mean ever, enter a French hospital without a lawyer and at least 24 loyal heavily armed ex-navy seals body guards while armed hellos scout the area.
Even better: -Avoid the people's respublic of France altogether.
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