Another dull biz-trip weekend was profiling at the horizon, half a mile from nowhere, lost between storage halls, factories and undefined settlements.
Shady small terrace, plastic table and a surprisingly good coffee. That should take care of the next hour. Would the newspaper holder collaborate ?
Visit this, go there, greasy whitened by the sun advertisement leaflets.
Have a flight initiation at the local aero club ? At least there's an aero club within reasonable driving distance. Why not ? Better call first...
Navigation set, transmission shifts to "D". Here we go.
How could he stand a leather jacket ? "It's cold up there !" he replied with a friendly grin.
I could either book a round flight or, at additional cost, follow 2 hours of schooling and face the opportunity to execute simple manoeuvers while in flight ?
How safe and legal ? Of course ! It's all checked and insured here and the weather is so nice. Of course.
Why not. That older gentleman was the most sympathetic creature I've recently met and he sure could use some business.
First surprise, these things are small. Much smaller than even a compact car. And incredibly noisy. Only headphones allow to talk by pushing a red switch on the steering.
He knew his business. Lifted smoothly. Fears fading away as the trembling machine picked altitude. Explaining each step with a rendered metallic by the headphones otherwise reassuring voice.
Flying is actually cool I taught. So much to see all over, much more than from the seat window of a passenger flight. No need to stick my face to the Plexiglas, scenery was all around down below.
The voice in headphones interrupted my amazement: "Get hold of the yoke, put your feet gently on the rudder pedals, do not force to override me in case I take over, are you ready for a level flight ?"
"Easy no efforts, just hold the controls in the position they are now. Do not force !"
Cool. I was flying the plane.
Headphones kicked back to life: "You are doing good. Now we will climb a bit. When I say go, pull gently on the yoke no more than an inch without turning it and follow with your feet when I play the rudder. Remember do not force ! Say ready when you are."
"My department. Just say 'Ready' and relax." My inner voice had chosen the most inappropriate moment. Sudden rush of cold sensation. Was the sunlight fading into a pink halo ?
"Ready."
"Are you ok with that ?" He must have felt something...
"Sure ready, just the emotion."
What followed was a game of increasingly complex maneuvers that I watched myself executing.
Second state ? Distanced from my senses, back seat driver of my own actions... Drunk ? Drugged ? Hypnotized ?
To this day I have not found words to describe the situation. And probably never will, quit trying.
Picking bits of conversation here and there. Trim. Flap deployment. Stall recovery. Watching my hand act on levers.
Ground coming closer. Sudden jerk. Metallic voice screams in my ears. Another softer jerk.
"My plane let your controls now !" Highly irritated metallic voice yelling in the headphones.
The once smiling and talkative pilot was silent and grave as he tossed his jacket on a chair. Looking for the right moment to hit me ? Better watch .
Two beers and an ashtray materialized on the desk. Good thing he looks less upset as bottles pop open.
"Pilots don't drink and smoke but you are not an inspector. I've got friends where it takes and get warned when they come. So... "
Pushing a bottle towards me. Lighting a smoke and tossing the pack in my direction.
"So you'd better tell me which one of those monkey friends of mine sent you to prank me."
The right moment to use diplomacy.
"Please take my words Sir, no one sent me. I just got that prospectus of yours at the hotel."
"What are you doing here, who are you ?"
Handing my ID. "See for yourself Sir, I have nothing to hide, not even my gratitude for the wonderful experience."
He pushed back my hand with a bottle of beer. "Have one, talk later."
His expression eased a bit.. He put down the bottle, looked at the ashtray.
"When you started to climb I knew something just got fishy. That was no rookie job tell ya."
Another sip.
"Got me suspicious buddy, challenged you again, no rookie jobs. You got the hand of a heavy. No rookie deal. So..."
He finished his beer and two more of them appeared from the small fridge.
"So I've set you to land us. And you handled that gust freaking damn good. A mean gust tell ya. Happens here. A go-round situation and damn, you forced over me, crabbed, nailed that wheel and got us down in a handkerchief."
Timidly attempting to soothe him further: "By instinct maybe, I don't really remember how things evolved ?"
"Instinct ? Kiss my ... That ain't instinct buddy, that's hours on the dial, humongous lot of, don't you take me for a fool. I've been in that business. Not fooling me. Toss that ATPL of yours and I'll have a deal, you'll only pay the gas."
"What is an ATPL ?"
"Some kind of hard nut you are. Whatever. You owed me pretty deep. Damn it. Just pay the gas then one day call to tell the rest."
"There's nothing more I can tell. Please allow me to fully reward you for this one of a kind experience. If you don't mind."
He looked at me with strangely sincere eyes. "Ok. Tell ya, that was a freaking experience. Come back anytime."
Waiting for the AC to cool the overheated car. What started as a dull biz trip weekend turned wild and sweaty. As wild as it gets.
For one, my Fairy could take full control reducing me to azombie observer. Well, ok, similar things have already happened.
Then she knew how to fly a plane. To the point of seriously upsetting a veteran flight instructor. What could come next ? Clueless. Better ask.
"Fairy, M'aam, Fairy dear, I'm lost. Would you please explain what's going on ?"
Silence.
"Please, I'm lost. For real."
"Honey pull yourself up, that was fun, wasn't it ?"
"Hi Fairy, well, I'm not sure how the eventuality to kill the gentleman and myself in the process qualifies for fun."
"Relax girl ! As I told you what's mine in you is yours in me. We are connected, you there and now me here and when."
"What am I supposed to understand ?"
"That besides being connected to you I have a pretty normal to your standards existence, good days, bad days, work days... "
"Fairies have work days ? How strange."
"I am happy to be your Fairy girl. Besides yes, I work as air transport pilot."
"Whaat ? You my Fairy you're I mean a Lady, Fairy and pilot ? "
"Sure Honey, last time I checked I'm a woman working as airline captain in a different from yours dimension. With some powers if you prefer, so, don't you ever dare me again !" she said laughing...
Feminea Aeterna
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