The agenda says, time to rush or I'll miss the periodic appointment with my doctor. Yep, I sort of like her, she has become a confident, we even had "girls talk" on occasion.
A quick shower, discrete underpinnings, a couple of coffees and ready to go.
"Honey, I mean, you can spare the trip sweetheart."
My Fairy, the one that steers my life for that many decades came loud and clear.
Sure I inquired if her presence could be explained by the side effects of that tumor in my head. Nope, not the slightest, I've heard her voice and conversed with her since childhood, far too early before the current diagnostic.
"Hi Fairy, could you explain ?"
"Sure thing. Be good, be brave, that's how it goes. The good doctor wants to warn you that science has exhausted it's bag of tricks. And..."
"And what please ?"
"And that from now you're on your own."
Good thing I'm sitting. There are moments when somehow forces vanish all at once, this is one of them.
"And where's your satisfaction in warning me Fairy Dear ?"
"Aw Hon, I'll always be in you, it's just how things go, you'd better phone instead of driving that monster of yours in a state of emotional shock. Have a soda, relax and call. Do it Hon, please do so."
Took quite some time before I dialed that doctor's office. No, I'm not coming because I have a very clear idea of what's on the stake.
Yes I fully understand that the therapy will take a sharp turn towards comfort oriented solutions. Sure I'm OK with that.
Definitely I'll be glad that they fix the next appointment with the concerned specialists.
No I'm not desperate, just not willing to take chances with useless stress. How I happen to know it all? Well, unless we spend time to find a better name, call it premonition, a girl's thing, right.
Sure thanks for all your dedication, we'll stay in touch if you don't mind ? Absolutely, have a nice day...
"Honey ?"
"Fairy ?"
"You've been so brave Honey, I'm proud of you !"
"As if I had any other choice !"
"You do indeed."
"Sorry Fairy, I feel a bit on the dumb side, could you maybe like spell it already ?"
"Don't fear death Honey, take my words, it's just like waking from a bad dream."
WOW..this is my story too except they w,ant me to do kemo..
ReplyDeleteI have seen the effects of that sh..oops I mean poop.
A long slow trip through HELL..
NO THX!!
I contract for this when age 14. Started inhaling tobacco
Not to mention cross Gen hormones..
Bless you for helping me into some clarity..
Honey, Sweetheart, you're so touching, I wish I could hold you Sister. And tell you more on how I had the privilege to become a Sissy that many decades ago.
DeleteWe are chosen by Fairies, we are sort of contact lines between their world and ours. Stealth ambassadors of something so beautiful and powerful that we can not even fully conceive.
My Fairy is the wonder of all wonders. So many things that no one can explain have happened thanks to her.
Tat's why I keep this blog Sweetheart, to tell why and how we are different.
Sissies don't die Honey. They turn Fairies, therefore the apprenticeship we undergo here.
It's then our turn to guide another soul into Sissyhood.
Fairies are no jokes my Dear.
However science might come to call them one day, they do exist.
My Fairy saved me from a crash, sleepdriving, met me when my heart failed to perform. Even once, as funny as it might seem, played a practical joke on a rugged flight instructor. Here:
http://femineaaeterna.blogspot.com/2017/10/dont-you-ever-dare-me-again-she-said.html
I'm not scared going there Sweetheart, it's just how things are meant to be.
Talk to your Fairy, I'm sure she has so much beautiful things to say and guide you as far as it goes and beyond.
I love you, I love you all !
Be Brave, it's just like waking from a bad dream to quote my Fairy Dear.
Yes, I love you, I love you all my wonderful Sisters and Fairies in the making.