Ladies, bras and a Sissy: -The crash and burn of the ministry of Polish bras propaganda.

How it started: here

That other day, close to a year or so ago I discovered a friendly and nice bra oriented "internet club".

Nice people, sharp fitters, serious experienced bra owners. And yes, we did chat on this and that, all bra related of course.

Loved their politeness and the candid aspect of the site. A nice lounge to relax and just hang around, learn, crack a vanilla joke. Even with Ladies who know about or have worn real old-school longlines. How cool is that ?

Until the moment my opinion on some new bra models shown around started an exponential fire.

Happens those bras were Polish and bratabase.com revealed to be just a different spelling for a stealth chapter of the Polish bras politburo with half a dozen of undercover agents on duty.

Now that bra (my lawyer advises not to reproduce it here) was IMHO a distasteful overloaded post-modern inspired by carnival floats eyesore with the distinctive signature grace of a lavishly decorated tuk tuk cab. What could go wrong ?

Is this the new secret design inspiration source of Polish bras ?!

Consecutively and without warning, I took as much flak as the Polish bras elite forces canons could deliver before suffering catastrophic barrel meltdowns.

Good for me they were not qualified shooters in polite logical debates so I could set the discussion on autopilot, relax and enjoy the fireworks.

Yep, criticizing Polish bras is a cardinal unforgivable sin. Or it isn't ? Let's figure this out.

First surprise is the low hit to miss fitting ratio. Like 1 keeper in a dozen of tried. Weird !

Most if not all Polish bras keepers are worn in a rather curious way. With straps starting from deep in the armpits and narrowing on the shoulders like the red portions below:

Bra straps deep in armpits (red).

I might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, yet this geometry seems rather curious to me.

Essentially the situation schematized below corresponds to a significant under-sizing of the band compensated by excessively large cups.

Effects of undersized band and oversized cups.
Why are Polish bras worn this way ?

Which induces a dramatic backward excursion of the underwires, wrinkles in the deformed loose upper wing edge and forces straps deep in the armpits.

Is that really how Polish bras are supposed to be worn ? Yes ?! Wearing half-cups and push-ups like full coverage bras? No kidding ?

Instead of a constructive discussion, this far from rocket science structural engineering hypothesis triggered further fireworks shows with even more barrels melting in the process.

The marching band played "Who the hell are you to tell us how to wear Polish bras"  at volume 11 in a loop and the Ministry of Polish Bra Propaganda decided to put me on their most wanted heads list. Just like in the "good old times" of communism. Weird !

My interventions were blocked even before I could explain that wearing the right bra band size does not conflict with the ideal of slim body with big boobs.

And that after being jammed in hard preformed motorcycle helmet liners for decades, boobs loose their faith in projection bras so, instead of involving voodoo algebra in the sizing process, one better just let them girls enough time to adjust to a new shape of bras.

And lastly who can help bra designs that would also double as dredge buckets ?

Reminescent of something we're talking about ?

The saga almost turned ugly the moment I casually mentioned it in an unrelated girls talk chat.

A Russian sister renowned for her underground digital justice involvement offered to mobilize her team and take down that effervescent politburo chapter.

No Honey, please don't. We have all witnessed your team's deadly efficiency at dealing with unfriendly to us blogs and sites and we are very grateful for your involvement and proud of your skills.

That politburo might have been rude, agreed. However that's just a bunch of Ladies trying to earn crumbles by awkwardly promoting Polish bra brands.

Despite the events I still have heartwarming respect for them even if their business end logic is somehow depleted.

The morality is quite simple. Better stick to and enjoy quality bras that do the job right away instead of endlessly discuss the reasons why others don't.

I love you, I love you all !