Get me out of my bra, the consequences of terminal Christmas boredom.

Christmas / New Year combo is here whether you like it or not. The reign of voice mail nonsense and We wish you a Merry X-Mas if you buy this or that .

Time to overhaul a computer or three and test them by randomly poking the interweb.

So here I am, comfy, outplaying the cold of my office by a long skirt, soft rather sluggish sweater and thick petti. All set, all done, coffee machine ready, smokes, diet coke. Let the fun begin.

First thing, a lady laments her bra and writes several pages on the joy of taking it off, first priority action right after the doorstep. Must be quite an exercise, since she carefully omits to mention that in order to take off a bra, one generally begins the process by what's over the bra.

Intriguing. Further, she falls victim of a logorrhea on how bras are harmful to anything, inclusive earth destruction by militant for braless freedom aliens.

Quite a science pit, isn't it ? Guess, if given enough time, she could as well write the whole Wikipedia without major issues save the chapter on gravity and universal attraction.

Because happens, how silly, that for poorly understood fundamental reasons, if left alone, masses will attract and finally collide one with another.

An easy to verify experience. Stick your flashy smart phone in your bra then remove the above mentioned bra. No more annoying calls if you happen to stand on hard tiles or concrete floor.

Amazing !

However your boobs haven't (hopefully yet) followed the same extend of travel. But why ?

A physicist could explain that if a mass does not hit another it's because something prevents it, action and reaction meme. Whatever.

A pathologist would take time to explain that boobs are in fact a messy concoction of watery porous grease, nerves, glands, blood vessels, all mercifully wrapped in soft skin.

Skin bags dangling from the chest region, no muscles or bones being involved in the process. Who cares ?

A neurologist would enlighten the discussion by the fact that despite being the most innervated region, boobs have no means to rise alert when their containing skin extends beyond limit as they dangle around. And finally, that's the point where someone should start to care.

Because once extended, a structural engineer will wish you good luck to bring the skin back to original dimensions.

Yep. It's not exactly rocket science but close enough. Who would have taught that bras are in fact anti-gravity devices in disguise ?

Performance they achieve by 2 separate actions.

• One is to provide support from underneath, a direct obstacle to gravity.
• Or, splash everything against the chest and create a compressive friction based support. Vector geometry, anyone ?

Both will achieve anti-gravity with very different side-effects.

Supported from the lower part boobs will tend to naturally project, all cool and nice, happy blood vessels and perky nipps. Could stop traffic.

Compressed booby will, well, try to occupy at best whatever room they're given. Like molding plasticine. Can't really decrease the volume, let it ooze wherever it can. Could stop blood flow.

Stop traffic or stop blood flow ? You decide, it's your boobs after all.

Precisely where the anti-bra cohorts dive for inspiration. The only type they have ever known is the compressive support model.

Why the hell ?

A structural engineer will explain you that, from mechanics point of view, underneath support is more challenging than tit-splashing.

And since challenges come at a cost, enter the marketing guru. Tasked to sell with most profits whatever costs the less to manufacture.

Bingo.

Who needs that many panels and accurate quality stitches when it can be all cheaply press-formed, one shape fits all, and sold at premium prices as seamless fashion madness ?

Two motorcycle helmet liners, some elastic, limited work effort involved, let the robotic presses roll.

The absurdly horrible to wear bra is born. Major goal, sell it by gazillions, all over the world, from the very same molds.

Stuff it with pounds of foam and give it fashionable names.

Sponsor nipple projection taboo social media mass hysteria, splash it all in the cups.

A very cost-effective way to make money. Truckloads of it.

Yep, no wonder if those who have never experienced anything else might finally rise concerns.

Happens that I'm a Sissy with enough technical training to figure out how structures work. And boobs to prove it.

A well structured multi panel pointy bra bra (top picture) is heavenly when compared to the massive discomfort of even soft-cup tit-splashers (bottom picture).

That's how far I go when I need to hide my "girls". Out of like 150 - 200 bras that I own, not even a dozen are of the dreaded press-formed type. And guess, they are almost unworn, some are even in the toy's section, discipline devices for when need arises.

So yes, Ladies, I can understand your point. Now it's your turn to understand mine.

Quit the zombie circle, try a well done properly fitted structured pointy bra.

Feel at ease, enjoy the freedom of solid support less the discomfort of modern purely marketing tit-splashers.

And quit publishing bra burning nonsense.